New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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