That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
