I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
