But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
