she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
