my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
