Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
