glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
