i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
