I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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