i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
