Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
