I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
