why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
