i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
