Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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