he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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