God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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