I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
