True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
