butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
