dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
