You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
