so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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