The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
