The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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