We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
