my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
