i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
