You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the day after is always just damage control
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the raccoons are back...
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