Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
