i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
