That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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