oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize