all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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