so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
