All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
