508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
