I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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