Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
