all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
