grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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