Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
