just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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