If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
