Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
