'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
