Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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