every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
