i wish my penis had a tongue
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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