She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
