Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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