just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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